Why Focusing On Your Happiness Is Best for Everyone

Your Happiness Should Come First

Tavian Jean-Pierre

18 days ago|5 min read



Photo by Catalin Pop on Unsplash

For a long time, I was trying to make others happy. The expectations of others led me to make choices that put their happiness first. Although it felt satisfying, I always felt a void within myself.

Unfortunately, many of us are driven by the happiness of others. We seek to look good in a particular crowd or ensure that our friends are living their best lives. However, in the process, we often neglect our own happiness.

You would like to think that most people are in the business of putting their happiness first. After all, we all have a slight tendency to be greedy to ensure that our needs are met.

Yet still, our desire to be part of the pack or please others can often override our own desire to be happy. We all know someone who stayed in a damaging relationship for too long or made decisions for the appraisal of others.

I only learned recently that my happiness was a result of my choices. And the last thing that would make me happy is seeing the happiness of others whilst being in dismay.

As I write this article, I think of my mother. She has dedicated all of her life to the upbringing of her children. Unfortunately, she has not found herself in the most supportive of relationships and has spent much of her time developing us.

As I have gotten older, I have started to fear that the life of my single mother is all about us. And she hardly gets any time to think about what would make her happy outside of her children’s happiness.

So, although this article may be beneficial to your own journey to happiness, it is dedicated to my mother. I want her and all my readers to know that focusing on your happiness is the best thing you can do for others in your life.

Your Happiness Is Enough to Make Others Happy

Unlike perishable goods like food, when happiness is shared it does not disappear. However, most of us treat happiness in this way. Deep down, many of us believe that the happiness of another limits our ability to be happy.

By comparing ourselves to others, we treat happiness like a perishable good. Instead of feeling happy about that individual’s holiday or success, we become envious of it. And we are jealous because we innately believe that their happiness limits our own.

When we hold to a happiness that is perishable, we will spend most of our lives trying to please others. We will believe that sacrificing our happiness today will ensure the joy of those in our lives around us. And although that is a noble thing to do, it is not the most productive.

Happiness can be shared, and it does not need to require the sacrifice of yourself. In fact, I have found that being happy leads to others being happy around me. Like a magnet, the inner happiness I experience pulls positive energy from those I care about.

We do not need to run around trying to meet the demands of others to have happy people around us. And you do not need to put pressure on yourself to hold yourself to unrealistic goals to please others. You certainly do not need to try to uplift others to be happy when they are in a slump.

Those who care about you will celebrate your wins and sympathise with your losses. Your happiness is enough to brighten up the days of those who love you for who you are.

For too long, I believed that the happiness of others required my sacrifice. I had to empty my pockets to buy them gifts or find time to be the listening hear for them. All of these things are important, but your happiness is a priority.

When you begin to focus on your happiness, you will find others that are positive toward you. Those who seem upset about your happiness or block it see happiness as a perishable good.

But most importantly, they see your happiness as a perishable good. And I have found that people who see happiness in this way only pull you down and remain a weight in your life.

An environment where you are able to put your happiness first is a safe place. It may be a circle of friends who care about you or a partner who loves you dearly. Nevertheless, your happiness should always be enough for others. If not, the people in your life may not be as supportive as you think they are.

Accept You Can Not Be the Source of One’s Happiness

We often put pressure on ourselves to ensure that we keep people happy. However, this only keeps us on our toes as we try to meet the ever-changing demands of others.

I have grown to accept that I will never be the source of anyone’s happiness. Other’s happiness is dependent on a range of things, and it is their job to manage it.

Yes, I can play a part in helping someone on their journey to happiness. However, I will never be the ultimate reason why someone is happy. Instead, they will be that reason.

Ultimately, your life choices and willingness to appreciate the things in your life determine your happiness. It is less about what people are doing and more about how you perceive your life.

We are constantly changing, and the things that make us happy in life change as we age. Understanding this made me realise that the pressure we put on ourselves to make others happy only limits our own fulfilment.

Focusing on your own happiness not only ensures that you stay away from unnecessary pressure, but it helps you control the happiness in your own life. By accepting the responsibility that we have to ensure our happiness, we build relationships that support us. Instead of building relationships that depend on us, we build those that support us.

In Closing

Our lives are short and insignificant in the overall course of history. Although this realisation may seem quite upsetting, it should cause us to live our lives with more meaning.

Focusing on your own happiness is not a greedy thing to do. If anything, it draws people who wish to be in support of your happiness.

So, focus on your own happiness. It only makes the people in your life better and allows you to be the best you can be.


Tavian Jean-Pierre

A Visionary and Writer that hopes to inspire leaders, change ideologies, and encourage others to be their best selves.



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