Why Do We Believe Gossips? — Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

If gossips can do harm to people, and we know that they are most likely false stories, why do we believe them in the first place? Why do gossips continue to affect people’s life?

Gossipers generally have many friends because most of them seem to be good people to go around with. The main reason why they seem so friendly is that they always have something interesting to tell. But we generally don’t ask why they know so many secrets, and why those stories that they tell are so compelling.

However, the fact is that they add some interesting details to those events, so as you can have fun while listening to them. Besides, their great sense of humor makes you feel that you can rely on them, while you are only giving more contents to them. And the sad fact is that they are inclined to gossip about you just moments after they have made you laugh. Those who make gossips their job, gossip about everyone.

But still, the active gossipers are not the only people involved in making gossiping such a powerful mechanism. Gossiping is a very complex type of communication where both the communicator and those who listen might fulfill their task. While the person who invents or restructures the story feels that they are intelligent, creative, and well-connected, those who listen might have the sensation of being entertained, informed, and connected to a very intelligent person.

Furthermore, gossiping can well function like manipulation and fake news. The process of creating and spreading a gossip is pretty similar to a manipulative move, in which the ones who speak adapt the story to those who listen and expect them to believe this story as if it were true. And of course, as fake news the gossips are more likely going to be highly subjective and false.

The difference between gossip and these two phenomena is the degree of each event. A gossip can well be prolonged to fake news and can eventually be as toxic as manipulation.

Therefore, gossip is a type of communication that we need to avoid. Whether you are an active gossiper who invents and distorts events, or a rather passive one who listens or/and shares these stories, be aware that a gossip you tell or share can ruin someone’s life and reputation. Plus, the consequences can be huge for you as well, because if you ended up being identified by people of your environments as a rude gossiper, it would be hard for you to find friends that are not involved in gossips themselves.

The passive gossipers (who listened and believed gossips) are also guilty when an innocent person’s image is destroyed due to false stories spread about them. Because passive gossipers are the ones who give shape and understanding to any false story. Without a great audience there is no gossip.

Although some people think that they are not gossipers, most of us have participated into transforming a false story into a relatively important information. Like myself you can be unconsciously a passive gossiper, here are the reasons why you can involve in such lifestyle without even noticing it.

We believe or/and share some gossips when:

We have already had bad feelings or thoughts towards the person or group of people who are depicted in these stories.
We have some relationships with (or even love) this person or group of people, but we don’t like them to involve in some activity or to impersonate some characters or habits.
We are (consciously or not) very proficient gossipers and find it amazing to destroy people’s reputation or credibility.
We believe too much in that person or group of people who invented or shared this information.
We abhor or love the concept(s) linked to this information so much that we cannot have second thought about anything shared on this subject.

No body is immune to gossip. Although most of the times more than one of these reasons are present in a passive gossiper’s mind, only one of them is sufficient to make you believe a false story blindly.

However, we can make some efforts to have some distance towards our biases, whether those that are based on love or those that are based on fear. We would be more likely to believe something that touches those emotions than even believing a proven fact. Therefore, whenever a person is talking about someone else with you, try to find out why you are the adequate person to listen to them. Ask yourself why they don’t talk about this person in their presence. And try to recall how your relationship with this person has been projected or seen from the outside.

Remember that your job is not to destroy others, but to make your environments perfect places to live in and evolve. And the most you contribute to people’s happiness, the happier you become.

Why Do We Believe Gossips?