We Become the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Create the Stories You Want to Read

Tavian Jean-Pierre

12 days ago|5 min read


Photo by Conner Ching on Unsplash

As a writer, I spend a lot of my time creating stories that I would love to read. Although I think about my reader, I focus most of my time on ensuring it is a piece of writing that I actually like.

Most of the stories that I have rushed or had low energy to write became stories I disliked. And many of them end up performing poorly as my readers can probably sense the lack of effort in the writing too.

Nevertheless, my stories are part of my identity. Both the good and the bad were produced by me, and I am proud of all of them. Even the ones that I rushed and performed poorly. That is because all of my stories are a demonstration of my commitment to keep on getting better.

As individuals, we are often unaware of the stories we tell ourselves. Although we are not the complete narrators of our own stories, we have a significant part to play in how they turn out.

We define our goals, who we want to be, and where we want to go. The only reason why we are not the complete narrator is that we can not control the actions of others. And some of the events that happen in our lives are random and can sometimes throw us off course.

However, I have found it is often in the moments where our stories are not going to plan that the stories we tell ourselves are pivotal. It is here when we are most likely to create stories that paint us in a negative light and crush our self-esteem.

Constantly being aware of the stories you tell yourself will change your life for the better. And as a writer who has experienced many disappointments, the stories I have created for myself have been essential for my own growth.

So, here are why the stories we tell ourselves are important. They are not just there to encourage us when we are down. They represent who we are and play a strong part in defining our identity now and in the future.

Stories Are Who We Are

We often think of stories as things that are separate from us. We read them in books, online, and we tell them to our friends. They are things that are easily shared. And this leads us to often hold them with less value.

However, much of our society is built on the stories of others. We all love a good film, and much of our communication comes from the stories we have been creating or hearing.

Our whole existence is one huge story that we share with others. And this is important to recognize because it means stories are more than just things we tell. They are connected to our identity, and ultimately, they become who we are.

The story of your life, although small in the grand scheme of things, is essential. It makes you unique, and it also gives you the ability to influence others’ stories with your experiences.

And we do influence others every day as we communicate and share parts of our story with them. Whether that is telling them your plans for the evening or telling your friends the most recent gossip.

Considering that stories play such a vital role in how we communicate with others, we should be constantly thinking about how they relate to us. After all, people know you well, not because they have a fact sheet about you. Instead, they know you because of the stories you have told them and experienced with them.

So, the stories we tell ourselves are even more important. They shape our identity and beliefs and ultimately shape how others see us. The stories we tell ourselves are at the core of who we are, and they define us.

Stories Are Who We Can Become

The wonderful thing about stories is that they can hold more than the present. They can have glimpses of hope for the future and amplify silver linings in the past.

A lot of the time, we never tell ourselves the whole story. And we tend to tell stories in this way. We highlight the key details and ensure people have enough information to get a good understanding. However, I have found that doing this with the stories we tell ourselves is damaging.

In times of hardship, it is easy to tell ourselves only part of the story. We focus on the negatives in our lives and remind ourselves of the times we have failed. We let our stories be about our weaknesses and things we believe we will never be able to achieve.

In doing so, we convince ourselves that we are less than what we truly are. And the stories we tell ourselves become our reality as we begin to see our shortcomings more visibly in our everyday lives.

However, in dark moments, we are quick to miss out on the parts of our stories that we want to see. The silver lining is the hope for the future and proof that we can achieve more than we could ever imagine.

These are the parts of stories that we all want to hear. It is why we love genres like romance, action, and adventure. These films are designed to take us on a rollercoaster, yet always leave us with a glimpse of hope until that hope becomes the story.

The couple finally becomes united, and the superhero saves the day. The puzzle is finally solved, and the adventure was worth it. Yes, the stories we tell ourselves are who we are, but they also hold the potential to become who we want to be.

Creating a Story We Want to Read

A lot of the time, the present struggles in our lives throw us off track. We begin to tell ourselves stories that hurt our self-esteem, and we become demotivated and anxious.

However, we all have the making of a good story. When I think about how I would want my story to look at the end of my life, I would not want it to be all happiness and success. That would be quite a boring read.

I want it to be one with turns and twists, ups and downs, and eventually triumph. So, remember that you are a story in progress, and you are a creator of the stories in your life. Take time to think about the stories you tell yourself. It may just help you become more than you thought you were.


Tavian Jean-Pierre

A Visionary and Writer that hopes to inspire leaders, change ideologies, and encourage others to be their best selves.



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