The Real It Girl!

Hello girlies! It's been a long time no see! I do apologize about that, but don't blame it on me, blame it on my clinically diagnosed depression along with my clinically undiagnosed ADHD. Or we could always blame my parents, who I never felt that close to which led to an early habit of escapism. Either way it goes, it's not my fault! Which is what we're here to discuss today! The after show was cute, but this is the real behind the scenes! This is where you'll get to know a little bit more about the real iT Girl behind the keyboard. So, get in girlies, we're going down memory lane!

Not Exactly Cinderella:

My tale begins a little bit before I even arrived, it began with a darling princess, born in the lap of luxury her family ever the nobles had rules and etiquette that the princess had to follow. One day, the princess met a dashing rogue, a man who didn't adhere to her etiquettes and rules and chains, he was freedom for her, and for him she was an escape. The princess and the rogue made me, a luxurious iT Girl who loves the finer things in life, but also has no regard for the rules of the game. This made growing up difficult, because you see as the iT Girl grew the princess became a Queen and she now wanted her little girl to be the perfect princess she was, to walk like her, talk like her, to live the same life but the new princess had the heart of the rogue, and so she would never be perfect, she would never be the princess that the Queen approved of, and the rouge, well he respected the girl's heart, but he had lost his, he had become the King consort and he wanted, what the Queen wanted. And so, your favorite iT Girl grew up very alone, the only rogue in a house of royals.

Reality Check:

Now I know you're like wtf?! Don't worry, I just have this love of fairy tales, they're such simplistic tales but they do the complicated jobs of guiding our moral barometers. When I think about my life as a fairytale it helps me to think that it's a lesson in it all that there's a reason, I've had my experience (I usually equate it to amazing character building for stardom) and that there will be a "happily ever after." The real truth is that my mom was a type A control freak with huge expectations, my father was a type B slacker who wanted to party all the time and didn't really care. So, the result is that I grew up with low self-esteem (because I couldn't be perfect for my mom and my dad couldn't care less), a serious need to become famous and adored (because I never quite felt loved), and an amazing personality! (That I developed while spending ridiculous amounts of time talking to myself and planning out fake social scenarios). So, when I think about why I want to be and iT Girl it's obvious!

I never felt special growing up, you can see that in the character of Mimi if you pay close attention. When you grow up in an environment that doesn't make you feel special it can be hard to ever see that yourself, but when that same environment also goes out of its way to make sure you KNOW that you're not what they think is special, well that's a whole other bag of tricks! What you see in Mimi is someone who wants life to be a fairytale because she wants a happy ending after feeling lost and alone. In the first episode you can see that she has a hard time viewing her friends, her job, even perspective relationships as cannon fodder for her storyline of a "rise to stardom."

So, I guess at the end of the day, I'm just here to let you guys know that this isn't some gag, I really do suffer from delusions, since I was a kid, I've always had to imagine myself in a better life, a better place, with people who loved me better. So, this story is not just for kicks and giggles, it's to help get my feet back on the ground while still maintaining the spark that fantasy gives me for life! I'm trying to reconcile that point between dreaming and escaping. I still want to be an "it girl" but now I'm learning that it shouldn't be to replace something, it should be because I want the best for myself, I've always been able to envision myself as this person who was at the top of their game, but now I want to be someone who becomes it! So, stay tuned girlies, because episode by episode, post by post, I'll show you how to become a true iT Girl! Ta ta for now!