TAKE CARE OF YOUR INNER PEACE...

Last night, I had a big fight with my husband.

While having dinner, as an attempt to give vent to my feelings, I started telling him how exhausted I was due to work pressure.

My Manager is constantly pushing me to raise deposits and branch business. As just being an officer, what more could I possibly do? I’m already fully occupied with customer service and other daily operations from morning till evening 7 PM. In between, I try to reach some unrealistic targets given by the management, sometimes in ways that feel unethical.

Yes - “ the end justifies the means” - we’re forced to do it because of intense competitive pressure. But honestly, it all feels meaningless to me. What are we chasing after, I don't know.

So, as I was saying, I was just explaining to him how I was feeling and how my manager was brutally annoying me. 

Actually, we had a dentist appointment for my husband at  8 PM - I remember that, but just a consolation for a minute or two would be enough for me.

Suddenly, he stood up - While I was still waiting there for some consoling gesture - and he washed his hands. He seemed angry because we were late for the appointment. 

By seeing this, I got terribly upset. I said, “ you’re not supportive,” angrily.

He said , “ I’m hearing your story, right?  Otherwise, I won’t. And you call me unsupportive?, you know we are already late to the hospital.”

I was shocked by his behavior. I was expecting a hug. I wanted to be treated like a little puppy just for a minute or two. I needed that kind of pampering at that moment. But his behavior triggers me further.

One thing led to another. We were screaming at each other. 

By the way, he broke my clothes stand by hitting it on the floor.

All that time, I was banging my head with my hands- ashamed of how I was reacting, but unable to stop.

Ugh, I feel like a stupid. 

What my husband did was completely wrong. He could’ve said some nice words or shown some kind gesture. He’s a man.  He needs to be more sensitive and caring in our relationship. Right?

But he is so insensitive and rude. He didn’t care, even if I cried like a child.

I tell you, one big secret:

Most of the time, when a woman cries in front of her man, she’s just not sad- she’s silently asking for a hug. For understanding. For her man to pause and hold space for her. That’s why women cry when they know their man’s voice rises.

But it doesn’t work in my case.

Whenever I cry- even if he made me - it doesn’t make him feel pity for me. And that breaks my heart even more.

Anyway, he is insensitive. 

But… I, too, shouldn’t have behaved like that. As a woman who is hoping to conceive a baby, even desperate for a baby,  my feelings and peace of mind are way more important than anything.

I’m 30 years old and I'm hoping to conceive a child. At this time, do I need this?

So what if he doesn’t pay attention?  What if he is insensitive and a complete moron? I am responsible for my own happiness.

Today, I’m taking an Oath.

I won’t lose my temper anymore.

I won’t scream. I won’t cry. I won’t expect him to treat me like a little puppy. I won’t fight- even if my husband triggers me. I’ll try to end the situation smoothly.

Not because I don’t feel. But because I need to protect my inner peace. 

This isn't a story about blaming anyone. It’s about recognising a moment that made me feel unseen - and choosing not to lose myself in it. 

We all have these fights. We all carry silent hopes for how our partners should respond. But maybe healing starts with drawing a line. Not between each other, but around our own hearts- to protect, to breathe, to grow. 

"Take care of your inner peace, woman."