“Dear, you must have respect, loyalty, care, affection, love and amiable behavior, towards every human-being on this planet”, parents advise their children.
To make them obedient, many commands are also given. They are taught to touch the feet of elders for blessing and use ‘aap’ for elders.
I am a result of such advises. In order to ensure the safety of his or her child, parents allow them to mingle with known, rather approved kind of people. Indian society kids are kept away from strangers for a variety of reasons including falling in love.
Indian society kids are allowed to hang out with their parents only.
And that too under huge surveillance. The lessons learned at early stages in life don’t fade easily. Therefore, most of the Indian parents are focused on making their kids well aware of their dos and don’ts.
What if he or she falls in love with the most appropriate person based on his conscience and intuition, and decides to marry?
Yes, marry. We are free Indian citizens. We have the right to choose our life partner and get married.
‘But based on personal choice? Where are your parents?’, our SANSKARI elder from orthodox Indian society will ask.
‘Yes, what’s wrong in that?’, a sensible Indian kid would ask.
A child was taught to love every other fellow. The child applied this only to choose a better half.
Is anything offensive in that? No it is not. Just the child forgot that this is India. Your parents will be happy to feed their unemployed child for the rest of their life, but if you dare to find a life partner for yourself, their hatred may grow to an extent that they may disown you or perhaps may even kill you.
A parent killing their own child sounds bizzare?
If I am wrong, then, Bhavana, a DU graduate, must not have been set ablaze by her own parents. This is just one Delhi honour killing case. There are plenty more honour killing cases in India that go unnoticed.
What about brothers killing their own sister for pride and society?
Again astonished. In Rajkot, In May 2017, a sister was killed by her own brothers. This was yet another case of honour killing in India, which was graver as it involved the LGBT community.
The mistake of both mature lads (both were adults as per constitution of India), was the fact that they fall in love with each other. They chose to spend the rest of their life with the person the loved and those became eligible for honour killing.
I have few question to parents which I think might clear the reason for killing their own child.
1 - You want me to marry and live a happy life. What crime have I committed by choosing my life partner by myself?
2 - You preach and teach me to love. You want me to take my own decision of life courageously. When I implement both these teachings, why am I tortured mentally? Why?
3 – The Indian constitution has fixed age for marriage of boys at 21 years. Don’t you think I am mature enough to choose my better half?
4 – We are a part of Digital India. We are having legal framework to distinguish right from wrong. When Law is giving right, why you can’t?
5 - You say love marriages won’t work. Yours is an arranged marriage. What is special about you?
6 - You both were caged to live in each other’s company under the latent pressure of sanskari and sabhya samaj. You want me to do the same. I wonder about your definition of love?
7 - Since childhood, you have forced us into careers, jobs, hobbies etc. But how rational of you to force me to marry to a stranger or have sex with a stranger?
The venom of hatred is so deeply intensified, that boys feel something is wrong if their sister falls in love.
FYI, honour killing violates Article 14, 15(1) and (3), 19, 21 and 39(f) of the Constitution of India. In 2015, India witnessed 251 cases of honour killing. How justified is that?
How important role is played by caste, creed, religion, gotra and some fucking parameters of society which I never got to choose, while choosing my life partner?
I am convinced on one thing now.
If you fall in love, no, before you fall in love, ask for the following things in writing on a legal document.
1 - Caste
2 - Creed
3 - Gotra
4 - Rashi
5 - Grahdasa
6 - Manglik
Then only you may proceed. If anything doesn’t satisfy your parents, it may damage the chance of your marriage.
My questions will remain unaddressed, as it shoves a generation to change their mindset.
Until then, Love is a crime.