Is Death Worth the Wait?

Disclaimer: This is not a suicide note so don't get your hopes to the sky. Calm down little worm.

A thought beeped through my mind today as I was inventing the best way of breathing. How come we struggle through life, well most of us, yet we never get to enjoy most of the little we have? The hassle of waking in the earliest dawn to catch the city before succumbing to the traffic jam and having our heads pinned down by our bosses for being late. Or is it we in the developing nations having to suffer this much? Well, not necessarily better if we have the sun as a consoler.

The art of being content! I have tried reading various books on the gurus of minimalism but the concept seems quite hilarious. It is like a disorder in having 'satisfaction' in small things life throws at us. It does make no sense. How can I be happy by having small things? A small house, a little appetite, a rusted car, an ever complaining spouse, the wretched kids. Is life this 'unfair' to the minimalist in the arena? Well, everyone has conflicting beliefs about having to shave you through the thick and thin of life.

But isn't it true that humans suffer the same wars since never? If its hatred-it existed before Hitler was born, famine-religious books document it in their historical chapters, lust-who better than the fathers of romance to explain? In correspondence, nothing is new under the sun and you can do nothing about it. Calm down little nightmare.

So if we suffer the same wars from time immemorial and have been able to be 'contented' with ourselves why still suffer the most all over again? does population growth play a part, is it climate change, is it different populations in different generations? I assume we just leave it as the many unanswered questions hovering around. Let me not create a social problem and claim to have the answer with little 19 years of experience.

Well, if I chose not to be contented, I feel guilty about greed. Contradictory, if I chose to be contented, I remorse for the feeling of being lazy, Which is way in the dilemma of life. and I chose not to be in the middle, for both the upper and lower will try pulling me both ways.

Lastly, if we die is it for feeling contented or being overwhelmed by endless desires? There isn't a code to successful living, no defined white and black area of truth, no definite truth or evil. Thus I have no right to claim he/she lived a perfect life to die such a death. Death is inevitable as sure as birth was before abortion popped in the head. "Human rights".

What if I die without being fully content with my misery? Don't worry life is full of "what-ifs". Live as it is presented to your brother. Don't take courage if you don't feel it. Feelings aren't personal and learn to live with your demons.