I Searched for the One Who Made My Heart Sing

Photo by Katherine Chase on Unsplash

It was the perfect combination. When the words grew quiet, I sought comfort in the expanse of the road. When the runner’s high eluded me, I pursued my muse.

I am a writer. I am a runner. 
Until one day it all changed. One day the silence consumed me.

Until one day it all changed. One day the silence consumed me.

It crept up on me. With quiet stealth. A dark shadow that enveloped everything in its wake. I was blocked.

I picked up my pen, searching for wisdom between the blank pages. But my fingers could not move. Encased in steel I fumbled with each letter. I turned to my keyboard in hopes that it would merge with my words. All I got was a disconnect.

Dawn brought no reprieve. I faced the same sense of abandonment from yesterday.

With resignation, I accepted that the words had disowned me. Faded away into the night without a goodbye.

Fueled by the echoes of the silent words, I laced up my shoes and ran into the arms of my other love. I searched the open road for the one who made my heart sing. Pushing. Striving. Trying to replace the silence with sweat, highs and achievement.

But the high lacked its spark. It was dull. Dim. The silence and stillness grew in intensity. I picked up an injury.

Longing for movement I turned to yoga. Gentle but tough, reassuring yet challenging. I eased myself into the stretches. Bending my body into each asana. Sending light and healing to the wounded muscles.

As I grew stronger I ached for those long runs. I longed to lose myself to the boundless road. To find freedom and escape. Love. To dance to the beat of my feet. My elixir. My north star.

I heard a whisper. As I pushed past each step, the melody grow louder. The notes blended in harmony.

I felt a tingle. I met my elusive lover. A partner who demanded patience, persistence and ingenuity.

Out in the vastness of familiar terrain, I found the words which had once escaped me. I tasted their calmness. I bathed in their comfort. An antidote to my affliction.