I Am Doing Things I Only Heard About

Date- 27th September 2022

Today was the second day of my mid-sem exam. I didn't want to sit for this subject (I didn't even want to sit for the whole damn exam, but I did and would do anyway). Guess why? I hadn't studied anything. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G. And when I say this, I literally mean it. I didn't study anything last night or for the last one and half months before the exam. It's the same for all the subjects though, but I wrote at least something during my last paper.

Today I didn't write anything on the paper related to the subject. To save my face, fill the sheets and kill my time during the exam, all I did was write the questions 2-3 times and also wrote an answer from the last day's exam, which too not completed. LOL LOL LOL LMAO!!!!

I have only heard people doing this, but I never knew I'd be doing this someday. I really don't know anything about the subject, and I couldn't (or probably didn't would be the right word here) even study the last night so as to at least get some marks and save myself from the embarrassment that is ahead of me, waiting for me. Idk me or my life anymore. What I'm doing, what I'm not doing, what's good and what's bad, idk anything. The student in me lost its way long ago, I understood that. And so shameless I am that I don't even try to find it.

I'm so clueless about my life when it comes to academics. Not that I know in other fields what I want to do or not, but my academics is fucked up, completely. Idk how to bring it back on track. Idk how will I get motivated. I just want to hide somewhere. I don't want to sit for the other 3 subjects that are still remaining. I've lost all confidence. I didn't have it in the first place, what to lose.

I'm shameless.