How Torment Forged my Triumph

How Torment Forged my Triumph

It goes without saying that I have been countlessly picked on, as well as physically abused back in my entirety of middle, and high school.

I have written of it many times in past blog posts and articles, but this time around; I want to give the full scope of it, and speak about how my torment from the bullying, forged the stage of triumph that I am in now.

I am not a millionaire or a philanthropist of any kind, but I am loosely using the word triumph to describe the joyous stage of life that I am in currently.

As a boy, I had never felt responsible for my actions, regardless of the outcome. I hadn’t committed crimes, but I had done very weird things that most kids do, but I out of everyone was held more accountable for it.

It could be that I was very second-minded, and always put someone else on display in my mind rather than myself, but it is not all that sweet-sounding when I mention how bad of an outcome that shaped for my future.

With all that second-mindedness instilled in me, I acted like a straight-up buffoon and weirdo most of the time, selling my dignity and innocence for reactions I could not have interpreted at the time.

Fast forward to fourth grade, a year which I recall being the first sighting of my bullying legacy. The bullying would be the same whenever it would occur on its timely, 4:30 schedule every day.

Arriving on the bus would feel as if I had to defeat an intense, all-powerful boss in a video game just to make it out alive in comparison to what these kids had in store for me.

“Potatohead”.

One kid would say that and the rest would follow as a chain reaction originating from the mental constraints of one brain dead kid that did not know any better, but I had not known any better too in order to prevent the kids from bullying me in the first place with my actions.

Up until eighth grade, the bullying would continue onwards like that on a daily basis. I remember clearly punching a kid in the face one or two times when he would continuously call me another provocative phrase, “Yoni-Bear”. People at the time had known me as Yoni; rather than Jonathan.

In high school, I was unfortunate enough to have gone with many kids that I graduated with from middle school, and they still had a personal vendetta against me.

This was at the time when my confidence was very shaken, and the slightest slip up could be very devastating for me to bare.

Unfortunately, it was.

All throughout my freshman to my junior year, I was bullied on two fronts, not being bullied at all, and being bullied directly.

The being bullied part was no different than how I was bullied in middle school. There was the verbal abuse, the teasing, and now the addition of physical bullying by a group of people.

One time I straight up walked into the bathroom and got put into a chokehold by someone that was much larger than I was.

The non-bullying was a new side to bullying, with me being bullied by not being physically, or verbally bullied by anyone.

I felt very invisible in high school, and that alone would give me that sad and negative feeling of being bullied indirectly. I reciprocated the two in the same way.

All in all my time being bullied was very hard and intolerable, but that torment soon enough forged my triumph.

After graduating from that horrible and soul-crushing environment last year, I started discovering myself in new aspects, such as hobbies and conversations. I felt enabled to speak about this to friends and family, which aided me in my self-discovery journey, and transformed me into the confident, and positive writer you have providing the very content you are reading right now.

Being bullied is definitely a curse, but the results that happen after the torment can determine your triumph.