That photo right there on the wall of our drawing room captures my soul to it. That damn smile, that beautiful smile on your face, seeing me hold that trophy I won in my second grade, is just so mesmerizing.
And during these five long years, what I miss the most is seeing this smile of yours.
I still remember how at the age of two, for the very first time, you held my tender fingers so compassionately. You taught me patiently how to stand and eventually walk on my own legs.
I still remember when I was three, you took me to the kindergarten and I was crying so badly that I made you promise, you won't leave me alone and go. And you didn't. I knew it because I saw you right through my window, sitting on that uncomfortable bench for eight hours straight.
At six, I remember, how we used to play all through the weekend, laughing and giggling so hard. My stomach ached but your energy didn’t fall.
At ten, I remember how you always made time to teach me my lessons, even after having such a tiring day at your office. Just because you always believed that education is the most important thing.
At fifteen, I remember when I had my board exams, how you never forgot to feed me, while I was busy studying.
And then it was that day, my 20th birthday, when everything turned upside down.
I decided to declare my decision of dropping out of engineering, because it was just you, who wanted me to have a degree in engineering, not me.
And so, I revolted on my 20th birthday, and I said I wanted to take up a singing career and drop my engineering course. But you didn't support me.
Instead you came up to me and gave a hard slap on my face. For when only the slap didn't extinguish the flames of anger in you, you took the guitar from my hand and shattered it into pieces. And then without saying a word, you left me there.
It wasn't just the guitar lying broken that day, it was me, my dreams lying shattered as well. My eyes were red from the continuous weeping. It was then that I hastily decided to cut my wrist with those broken strings of the guitar.
And yes, it did its job! (I was lying dead in a few minutes.)
Today it would have been my 25th birthday but my spirit still haunts this place, regretfully standing before the photo frame, of both of us together.
How I failed to realize that day that it was you who gifted me the guitar, and you wanted me to see grow with it?
How I failed to realize that all you wanted was to see my happiness, see my life secured?
And instead of trying to convince you upon my idea, I hastily took the wrong step.
My spirit still haunts to see you smile for once at least, in the same way as you smile in that photo, of both of us together.
I long for that smile that I mercilessly snatched away from you.
The one who snatched your smile.