Entry 9: The Puzzle Pieces of Me!

Dear Diary,

The pieces are starting to come together. I'm starting to see the vision of the person I want to be. Everything I dislike, everything I do, the culmination of these things is what it will take for me to do anything differently. But it has to begin. I have to tip the first domino. I've established that anger no longer serves me, so I'll become a person who leads with love. I can no longer be lazy in the pursuits of my endeavors, so I'll become a laborer. And I think the last puzzle piece I need is love.

For as long as I can remember love has evaded me. I never felt it from my parents, I've had more friends disappoint me than I can count, and lovers have come and gone. Not once have I had a connection where someone genuinely sees me and wants to do everything, they can ensure my smile. So, I have to become that for myself.

I want every day to become a reminder of how much love I can give myself. I want to wake up knowing that there is at least one person who sees me. And I want that person to be me. I'll see myself as someone who never stops loving even when people are hard to love. Someone who never gives up even if the finish line seems miles away. Someone who may find themselves in village and community with others but does not need it and does not dishonor himself for it!

Little by little, and day by day I will become better, I'll learn from mistakes of the past and forge ahead brand new. No longer fighting but living. Eating until I'm full, laughing until it hurts, and smiling when there's nothing to smile about. Thank you, Diary, for listening.

Sincerely,