Emotional Abandonment!

Can We Change This Game?

Fred Costa

2 months ago|2 min read

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Today I want to talk to you about a truth of life I learned in the past year. It's a painful one, but like any other unfortunate truth, if we know it beforehand, there is a good chance that it will hurt less. That's why I decided to speak about it here.

Most people you have the closest relationships in your life will abandon you in the worst moments of your life. They won't be by your side, hold your hand or give you warm, human hugs with beautiful musical backgrounds as we see in movies. Nope. Most of the time, and in some of the most desperate moments, you'll be alone with the feeling that no one cares.

You might think I'm a loner who hasn't even made friends during my 40+ years. No. I am loved, have friends, and get along with almost everyone in my family. But the fact is that in difficult times people disappear from your life. From time to time, they say how strong you've been facing all the bad things you're going through or send a message to say they've been thinking about you a lot. But most will do it to feel less guilt about themselves.

I don't blame the people who abandoned me in my difficult times, and I'm not writing this text for you to blame anyone. Even because you and I have already done it or will not be there for someone, it would be great if we didn't, but we're all going to do it at some point in today's world.

Don't blame anyone, but prepare to feel abandoned at a painful moment in your life. I tell you to prepare yourself. Know that people will want to hear less about your problem than you need to talk. Know that most will show affection only with a like or a little heart on some social media. Few people will pick up the phone to speak with you, and an even smaller number will listen to you and give you the warmness you need at that moment.

Oh, you would say, but how do we prepare for this? Follow these three tips so you have a better chance to be ok:

1. Be aware that this will happen.

2. Don't create expectations of anyone. The reception sometimes comes from where you least imagine and not from the closest people.

3. Get therapy now. I suggest psychoanalysis.

4. Change the game: don't normalize abandonment and try not to practice it, but know it happens. You will suffer less when you understand that abandoning others is a common human practice.

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Fred Costa

Hi, I'm Fred Costa.

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