Have you ever been doing something and someone says something unexpected that kind of makes you stop for a second and think before you give a reply? This happened to me recently. Someone asked me a question I get on from strangers on occasion and I usually give a generic answer. Something like a shrug of the shoulder or just a simple “I don’t know.” This time for whatever reason I stopped to think before I replied. This time it was the attendant at the local gas station, one that sees me regularly. They’ve seen me interact with other customers and other attendants there at the store. This time I gave a woman in front of me a few dollars to help cover the gas, gallon of milk, and a loaf of bread she was purchasing with her two small children.

I had noticed them when I came in and the woman was staring at the milk in the cooler. She had the bread clutched in her arm with her other hand gripping her daughter’s who had her brother on the other side gripping her other hand. I could tell they didn’t have a lot of money. They were clean and looked well taken care of. The mother’s clothes were worn but tidy. They looked like any other single-parent household where the mom worked hard but the kids had everything that they needed but nothing more.

As I waited for her to decide the little girl grinned and I smiled back. The little boy looked at his mom with a worried look. The mom saw that I needed something from the same cooler so she opened it up and grabbed the gallon of milk then moved on. The interaction wasn’t anything really special. I didn’t even really think about any of it at the time. I grabbed the milk I needed and got the other things I needed. As I approached the register a gentleman was leaving and the family was moving up to add their items to the counter. The attendant rang everything up and I heard the mom tell her she had gotten $20 in gas as well. The total was something like $32-$33. To be honest I don’t even remember the exact amount. What I remember is the look of dismay on the mom’s face and the tears that welled up. She told the attendant she’d have to put the milk back. As the attendant went to take it out of the mom’s plastic bag I told her to wait and just add it to my total. The mom and children looked back at me like I scared them at first. I guess she hadn’t noticed me walking up to the checkout line. She got this confused look on her face. She thanked me even as she still seemed upset about the whole situation. They got their bags and the kids thanked me as well then they left. The attendant who had been quiet stared at the door for a second seemingly waiting for the door to close completely after them. She turns to me and stares for a second. She didn’t even start scanning my items. Instead she just looks at me with the most bewildered, confused look on her face and says “Why did you do that? I can tell you didn’t know that family at all. Or am I wrong, did you know them?” I just shook my head that no I didn’t. She again asked why I did what I had done.

I told her I didn’t know why I had. She asked if I was always so nice. I just told her that I tried. She started shaking her head and then said, “No, seriously. I’ve seen you be nice to rude attendants, help an old lady get her groceries in her car and not let her give you money when she tried to pay you. I’ve seen an old man drop a $20 he had been trying to put in his pocket on the ground and even though you could tell he had not noticed he’d dropped it in the first place. He definitely didn’t notice you pick it up. I watched you stop him to give it back anyway. Even though there's no way you would've got in trouble for pocketing it. Instead, you stopped him and gave it back to him. You always add your change to the little cup by the register for someone short a penny or two. It doesn’t matter if you get one cent or 99 cents back, you add all of it to that cup every time. I saw you in town one day and it looked like this lady had dropped a bag of groceries and you were helping her pick them up while other people were just walking past looking at the both of you like they were irritated that they had to walk a few steps to go around you. I heard the woman tell you she could get it, that it wasn’t your fault the handle broke and you didn’t know each other so you didn’t need to stop and be held up by helping an old woman. You still stayed with her and helped her pick them all up and get them to her car. There was no reason for you to do that if you didn’t cause her to drop them and you didn’t even know her. I just don’t get it. Why do these things? I just want to know, is it some type of religious thing or something? Like you have to do it or it's a sin or something?”

At this point I imagine I was the one with the look of confusion on my face. After I took in the fact that the attendant, who is a teenager or in her early 20s, had noticed my behavior on that many occasions. I was kinda left in shock. Then it made me wonder why my behavior was so strange to her that she had to ask me why I did these things. At that moment it came to me that my behavior was so out of place in today’s society that this kid took notice of it and this made me unbelievably sad. As I looked at this kid, who looked so confused, I realized that her confusion was understandable. At that moment of realization, another customer came in to pay. I stood to the side and as she took care of him I thought about how I should answer her. I realize I could have walked off and not answered, which would have probably been easiest but I realized I had the opportunity to do something that could positively impact others. So I waited and when he left and we were alone again I responded.

I asked her, “Have you ever heard the saying ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?’ She shook her head no and I continued.

“It’s something my grandmother would say often as I was growing up and I didn’t think too much about it. I didn’t even consciously notice that over the years I’ve repeated it to myself many times when someone was rude or when I was asked the question “are you always nice to everyone.” I didn’t say it out loud to the person asking until now. I am not sure what makes me say it or even realize it just now but it’s the reason I do things like this at times. When I saw she couldn’t pay and thought about what I would do in that same situation the only thing I could think of was that I would hope someone would be nice enough to help me. Which sounds kind of crazy but I have kids too. I could see how upset she was. I know how upset I’d be so I did what I hoped someone else would do if I were in that situation. I helped. It was something I could do to help her. Now I don’t expect her to look me up one day and bring me a couple of dollars to pay me back personally. That would be silly. What I do hope is in the future when she’s in a better place and she sees someone needing a small helping hand that she remembers this day. I hope she remembers me helping her and she helps someone else. That little saying “Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you is or could be powerful if put to use by more people. That little mantra could do a world of good in a world of chaos and cruelty. If everyone put that into practice then just think of how much better most of our lives would be.”

The girl behind the counter at this point looks so entirely confused it broke my heart. I told her that if I did that small thing and then that mom passed that small thing on by helping another person then in a small way I helped them all. I told her the truth. I told her that if every person in the world just had enough curtsy to do that much for other people I believe we would live in a better society. Now by this point, she has an incredulous look on her face as I walked out the door. I can only hope since she took the time to ask that maybe she will think about my reply. I didn’t blame her for that look and what I said may not have made her think about anything except that I am a nut. However, if it did make her take a minute to think about what I said and if she puts that into practice even one time those few minutes I took to explain it to her were worth it.

I thought about the exchange several times over the next week. As I went about doing the normal things we all do I noticed how many times that little saying was the reason I was doing many things throughout the day. I honestly did not realize how much my grandmother’s little saying affected my actions. Several times a week that little mantra is my reason for not snapping at someone, it’s why I do my absolute best to be polite to people no matter if I’m not in the mood to be nice, I smile and greet people even when I’m tired and rather be doing something else. It’s why if I see someone drop a $20 on the ground without noticing I’ll pick it up and get their attention to return it to them.

In today’s society, it’s more normal to expect people to be rude to you than it is to expect them to be polite and even hospitable. I am writing about all of this in hope that more people will read this and stop to think about what I am saying. Think about how you treat people and why you treat them that way. Why do they treat you the way they do? Is there something little you can do for someone that’s no big deal to you but could be huge to them?

Today we expect the worst of people and are confused or suspicious of anyone who is not what we expect. We expect an unnoticed dropped twenty to be pocketed by the person who finds it even if they could stop the person who dropped it easily and return it. Returning it seems odd to most people today especially when they know that no one will ever notice they picked it up. In today’s world, that type of behavior is not just common and accepted on occasion, it’s becoming the norm. That is truly something we should all stop to think about. When it seems strange for someone to be nice to a stranger for no reason there is something wrong.

I am not sure what has changed so much but something has changed. I just hope someone reading this takes my grandmother’s little saying and puts it to use. If even one person, one time then writing this was worth the time it took me to write it.

If you read this and will take just a minute to think about what that mantra says then it was worth the time this took. In all seriousness ask yourself “If I treated other people how I want them to treat me would that change anything?” Would it make my life or someone else’s life just a little easier or better in any way?”

Ask yourself what would you have done if you were the mom that didn’t have enough money to buy milk for your kids because you needed the bread and gas just a bit more? Would you think well they could drink water from home and put the milk back? Then what if they didn’t have very good drinking water at home? What would you have done and would you have been grateful if I’d helped you in that time of need?

“Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you”

Such a simple saying but that saying has the potential to have a big impact if more people put it into practice. Even if they only do it for a day.

Before you go if you found this article enjoyable to read help me out by clicking on the follow button at the top and the clapping hands below. Comment and Share it on Facebook or LinkedIn so others can read it too. Use the link below to share it.

https://medium.com/@afewsoutherncharms/do-unto-others-c5a8c257be0a?source=friends_link&sk=faeaf4f60d447409640f7c828ab06535

Either way, thank you for taking the time.

If you would like to see my digital and abstract art or read more that I have written click below.

Do Unto Others As You Want Them To Do Unto You