An Engagement Ring Without Real Commitment Means Nothing

My mom once told me, “Don’t think you have to be with a man just because he gives you a ring.” That advice confused me at first, but I now know what she meant years later. As women, we often see the engagement ring as the final step in a relationship. We mistakenly believe that because our partners proposed to us, they want a commitment. Well, that’s not always true. I used to watch daytime TV talk shows in my teens and saw stories of women who were supposedly “engaged” for more than seven years. Yet the men didn’t appear too excited about wedding planning or the idea of marriage itself. This shows us that an engagement ring without a real commitment means nothing.

Could He Have Proposed To Keep You Hanging On?

Here’s a possible scenario. Your boyfriend knows that you’re a great woman and he knows that you require a real commitment from him. You had an honest conversation about the issue with him. So it appears that he is on the same page with you. The truth is that he still wants to play the field but he doesn’t want to lose you either. He later proposes to you weeks later and you’re excited. But over time, you see that he hasn’t changed at all. So he only proposed to hold on to you.

Maybe He Sensed Your Desperation

Here is another scenario. You want to be married and the desperation is all over your behavior. You bring the topic of marriage to your partner and he clearly states that he isn’t ready for this type of commitment at this stage in his life. You don’t like his answer but somehow you believe that you can change his mind. Months later, you receive the proposal you’ve waited for. You got what you wanted, but it feels like you’re dragging him to the altar. Don’t let desperation for marriage be his motive for a proposal.

He’s Giving In To Pressure From Family

Your partner doesn’t really desire marriage but his parents want him to find a wife ASAP. They know that he is getting older and maybe they want grandchildren to have fun with on weekends and holidays. His parents like and admire you, and they believe that you’re the right person for him. And because he wants to please his parents, he reluctantly proposes to you even though you sense that something is off about it. Don’t ignore your intuition. It will keep you from making a decision that you’ll regret later in life.

Halfhearted Commitment Is No Commitment At All

Never, ever accept a halfhearted commitment from your partner. It is possible for someone to propose to you for the wrong reasons. You deserve so much better than this. And this applies to men, too. Men, don’t propose to someone you know will not love and respect you in the relationship. We focus so much on the engagement ring, but we must realize this important truth:

Halfhearted commitment is no commitment at all.

The inspiration for this story came from a friend who is going through a painful divorce. When they were dating years ago, her ex-husband put on a good show. He gave my friend the impression that he desired marriage and family life. But after they got married, he completely changed. He was rarely there for her and their two daughters. He lived as if he was a single man, and he mismanaged the household finances.

If you’re dating someone, look for evidence that this person’s commitment and love are real. If others warn you about him or her, please take heed. The last thing you want is to enter into a loveless marriage.