What Is the Difference Between Obsession and Love?

Jul 27, 2022

9 min read

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Sometimes, love and Obsession are connected in certain respects, but the two can never be regarded as the same. Love is a good emotion that builds between two people through time, whereas Obsession leads to one person controlling the other, culminating in an unhealthy feeling.

Partners in love are glad and proud of their spouse's successes, and they appreciate their companion. Because one person has a bodily desire to be with their fixation every day, Obsession makes it nearly hard to stay in a relationship because sentiments of jealousy and paranoia are frequent.

The main differences between love and Obsession:

Love is universal, whether in people, mothers' love, or young couples of any gender. Caring, supporting, and giving are all aspects of love.

The love partner constantly wants the best for the other and always wants them to be happy, even if they are not a part of their life; this frequently entails making sacrifices for the one he loves. It may be claimed that love has no boundaries and unlimited freedom and that in love, one prioritises the needs of others.

Obsession is also universal and may be observed in every connection. Fetish involves restricting or limiting providing time or attention to others to please their lover by hook or crook.

It frequently leads to physical abuse, hostility, and envy, and in a discussion, the partner invariably picks himself or his ego. Often, the relationship spirals out of control, making it even more challenging to end the connection without feeling terrible.

Obsession is an unpleasant feeling that may damage a relationship. Love is a positive emotion that is helpful to a partnership, and this is the primary distinction between love and Obsession. 

Furthermore, love is always connected with good emotions such as affection, warmth, caring, attractiveness, compassion, and support, whereas Obsession is related to negative emotions such as jealousy, mistrust, and paranoia. This is another significant distinction between love and Obsession.

If a guy is in love, he will not try to dominate his partner; instead, he will constantly support her and be there for her when she is in need. A genuinely loved another will understand and endure their spouse's flaws and shortcomings and will love the relationship despite these flaws. 

But, an obsessive partner will always want to dominate his beloved; they would demand the lover comply and do what they say. Furthermore, a sincere lover would never feel threatened by the partner's love for family and friends and other interests (job, hobbies, etc.), but an obsessive spouse will.

1. In a relationship, things happen quickly:

When someone falls in love, they let the relationship develop and flourish at its speed. They are not hurrying to make it official since they want to see how the relationship grows. Someone who is fascinated with you, on the other hand, will be frightened of losing you and will insist on making your relationship formal. Such conduct does not indicate love and instead demonstrates their desire to cling to you.

2. They are continuously doing things for you: 

When you are in love, it is normal for your spouse to pamper you and make you feel special periodically. When love becomes an addiction, your lover may continually spoil you with presents and surprises to keep you happy, making it tough to quit them. The apparent 'acts of love' are a bribe to keep you in the relationship.

3. They want affirmation regularly: 

It is natural for a partner to know how you feel about them. However, if your lover frequently asks you what you think about them and demands affirmation from you, this indicates an obsessive-love tendency. They may have been injured in love before and regard you as a precious property that must guard at all costs. They require affirmation regularly to ensure that their place in your life is safe.

4. They exhibit excessive possessiveness: 

At first, you may think it adorable to witness your spouse turn green with jealousy anytime they see you with someone else. Possessiveness is a natural component of love. However, if your partner begins snooping on you, checking your phone, and becoming irritated when speaking to another person, this demonstrates their possessiveness. They are so frightened of losing you that they regard everyone else as a competitor—that is an addiction, not love.

5. They insist on staying in touch practically all of the time: 

It's adorable when your lover sticks by you at the start of a relationship. But what if your boyfriend insists on continuing to talk to you even after months of dating? The persistent urge to be near, text or phone you are an obsession since it reveals that they think about you all day. This type of connection is harmful to both couples.

6. They have complete influence over your life: 

It is acceptable for a couple to seek their ideas and advice on various issues. However, if your partner is the sole decision-maker and makes all decisions for you, this suggests compulsive behaviour. That is not love, and they wish to have power over you and your life.

7. They want to know where you are: 

It's called "love and concern" when you're working late, and your spouse calls to check on you. It is an addiction if they phone you constantly, even when they know you are out with your friends. They always think to keep an eye on you and are irritated when you do not respond to them. They check on you more for the sake of addiction and less for compassion.

8. They can't stop thinking about you:

It's natural for a partner to inquire about your day and convey how much they miss you. However, if they begin to think about you throughout the day, wondering where you are and what you must be doing, it indicates that they are fascinated with you.

9. They follow you online and even in person:

If your lover ever arrives outside your work without your knowledge, it implies they adore you and enjoy surprising you. However, if your lover frequently enters your office unannounced and even frequents the location to spy on you, they are fascinated with you. They may even track you online and become enraged when someone from the other sex loves or comments on your photos or posts.

10. They may not share your joy: 

If you are requested to travel to another city to deliver a speech and get an award, a loving spouse will be thrilled for you and urge you to give your most incredible address ever. On the other hand, an obsessive spouse will be more concerned with your speech and more afraid that you will meet someone and fall in love. They may even insist on accompanying you on formal business travels.

11. They make you feel as if you're suffocating in the relationship:

Throughout their relationship, a couple in love always respects one other. If your spouse obsesses about you, your respect for them will steadily deteriorate and may be replaced by resentment and dread. Fear is especially prevalent in situations involving abuse. You begin to feel confined and long to be rid of them.

12. They impose constraints on you: 

Love frees you. A loving spouse would never want to bind you and will instead encourage you to pursue your aspirations and objectives. A spouse that is enamoured with you will wrap you in various ways. They won't offer you much choice and bind you by time, place, and other factors.

13. They are solely concerned with their wants: 

Love is a two-way street where you and your spouse work together to ensure that your needs are met and that you are both pleased. On the other hand, an obsessive spouse is primarily concerned with meeting their demands. They are unconcerned whether the connection is making you sick. All they want is power over you so they can have their way with you.

14. They do not trust you: 

When you are in love, your spouse completely trusts you. They understand that no matter how much time you spend away from them, you will always return. An obsessive relationship lacks trust. No matter how much you reassure them with words and deeds, they will not believe you. They will always inquire about your location and may even demand documentation.

15. They physically and verbally assault you: 

There is no platform for Physical and verbal abuse in a real love relationship. Even if both couples disagree on something, no one resorts to violence to get their way. On the other hand, an obsessive lover cannot bear any opposition. They will want you to adhere to their wishes and pressure you to do so. They will defend their acts by claiming that they had no option or did it for your benefit.

16. They prevent you from seeing your loved ones: 

If your spouse genuinely loves you, they would never prevent you from seeing your loved ones. They are unconcerned if you prefer to spend time with your friends and family over them. On the other hand, the person obsessed with you is suspicious and wants you to be with them all the time. They will restrict you from seeing your family and friends and instead arrange to spend time with them.

17. They neglect their family and friends for you: 

When someone enters a love connection, it is natural to get preoccupied with it and momentarily disregard those important to them. This type of conduct lasts for a short period before returning to normal. However, this does not occur with an obsessive spouse. They begin to ignore individuals near them to focus on you, and they never return to them. They gradually lose all of their friends and even restrict their relationship with their family since their sole concentration is on you. Losing oneself for the sake of the relationship is an obsession, not love.

18. They vow to alter their conduct: 

If you tell an obsessive partner that you are wary of their behaviour, they may promise to change. They will pledge to stop obsessing over you and may even keep their words for some time to keep you from leaving. However, they may revert to their former behaviours in the future.

19. They use guilt to their advantage: 

It is common for couples to split up when they discover they are incompatible. On the other hand, an obsessive lover does not know how to deal with rejection. If you tell them you want a break from them, they will become enraged. If you ask them to break up with you, they will threaten you, stating they would harm themselves if you leave them. It's not simple to get away from their obsessive affection.

20. They refrain from expressing fundamental ideas: 

When lovers are in love, they are not scared to speak their minds and share opinions. A companion that is infatuated with you, on the other hand, would only tell you things that will make you happy. They will even sugarcoat their thoughts to make you pleased. One of the main pillars of every relationship is honesty. If something is not present, your relationship is far from perfect.

What factors contribute to obsessive love?

Attachment issues have been closely connected to the onset of obsessive-compulsive disorder. When a person cannot create healthy attachments with other people, it impacts the quality of their relationships and how they interact with others.

What does it mean to have someone in your thoughts all the time?

When you fall in love with someone, you never forget about them. You may, however, be thinking about someone you despise. When someone is always on your mind in ways you can't get away from, it shows you care about them.

What does it mean to have someone in your thoughts all the time?

What does it mean to have someone in your thoughts all the time? When you fall in love with someone, you never forget about them. You may, however, be thinking about someone you despise. When someone is always on your mind in ways you can't get away from, it shows you care about them.

What causes a person to get obsessed?

People who grew up with unstable or abusive parents or caregivers may develop aberrant attachment patterns. This might lead to obsessive, controlling, or scared behaviour in their relationships. People who have insecure or reactive attachment styles may be obsessed with loss anxieties.

How long does a fixation last?

Simply seeing your sweetheart can cause your heart to accelerate, your legs to weaken, and your cheeks to flush. Touch him, and yes, movies try to persuade us that we'll feel this way forever, but deep romance has an expiration date for everyone. Expect the enthusiasm to endure at best two to three years.

How can you get rid of obsessive love?

Obsessive love disorder is treatable. You can use anti-anxiety drugs such as Valium and Xanax, antidepressants such as Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, antipsychotics, and mood stabilisers.

How can you break someone's Obsession?

  • Remove them off their pedestal.

  • Don't allow other people's opinions to determine who you are.

  • Get a support system in place.

  • Recognize that you do not require them in your life.

  • Concentrate on being aware.

  • Take a step back.

  • Find out what's causing your fixation.

  • Find a new activity to engage in.

Is obsessive behaviour in a relationship harmful?

Obsessive love may indicate a significant mental health problem, and if left untreated, it can ruin friendships and relationships. It may also result in other important mental health issues.

Is love an act of Obsession?

Love is a sensation when a person wishes the best for the person he loves and constantly wishes for their happiness, even if they are not a part of his life. On the other hand, Obsession is a mad sensation in which the individual wants the other to be their only. When in love, one may prioritise the demands of the other.

Conclusion:

If you can connect to most of the concerns raised above, your relationship appears to be ruled by fixation rather than love. If your spouse exhibits any of the above characteristics, you should talk to them. You can help them if they understand and agree to seek expert treatment to alter themselves. If not, attempt to find a way out of the relationship. Obsession of any type is harmful to you and your spouse, and you should avoid it.

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