I had one. One reader I was certain would engage with my content without fail. It didn't matter what I wrote: short-form or long-form, articles on fitness or on mental health, or writing prompt responses. I knew I could count on their support. All. The. Damn. Time.
But, it stopped one day. I can't tell you when exactly, but I can guess it was around the time when I reduced my output. I know they’re still on the platform cos I see their engagement with other articles. It’s a sting to my injury; like meeting your ex with their new partner at your favorite restaurant. The wave of jealousy drowns you on the spot.
Their absence is feeding my imposter syndrome. It’s a silent confirmation of the fear that I can chalk my success here not on skill, but on timing and luck. It’s turned up the volume on the inner critic’s question: What gives you the right to be here?
As defined in psychology.com:
People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think — and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them. Those with imposter syndrome are often well accomplished; they may hold high office or have numerous academic degrees.
How do you move on from this?
Talk about it: Writing about this is one way to overcome it. Imposter syndrome festers in the darkness of silence. By shining a light on this, I’m releasing its chokehold on me.
Watch your self-talk: As you go about your day, question your irrational thoughts. Does it make sense to believe that you are a fraud, given everything that you know?
Assess your past performance: It’s easier to dwell on our mistakes and failures and to downplay our accomplishments. One way you can counter this is to have a weekly wins session where you acknowledge your accomplishments. As you get better at it, increase the frequency until you’re able to do it daily.
Avoid comparisons: Inevitably, you’ll find others who are better than you are. But this comparison only adds to the feelings of unworthiness. Instead, during interactions, focus on what you can learn from others. Be genuinely interested in increasing your knowledge.
Limit social media usage: it might tempt you to portray an image that doesn’t match who you really are, or that is impossible to achieve, which will only make your feelings of being a fraud worse.
Accept the feeling of not belonging: It might seem counterintuitive, but resisting your feelings of unworthiness only exacerbates them. When you acknowledge them, you can start to unravel those core beliefs that are holding you back.
Refuse to let it hold you back. No matter how much you feel you don’t belong, don’t let that stop you from pursuing your goals. Keep going and refuse to be stopped.