Third guessing is even worse
“What if…?” We’ve all wondered how our lives would be different if we had made better or different decisions in our past.
As writers we’re always wondering what if I’d just changed a couple of words and my story would have gone viral.
Looking back over my somewhat checkered past there are some things I wish I had done differently.
But the question I must ask myself is, “Would I go back and change things knowing that the life I have now would be gone or dramatically changed?”
I don’t think you can go back in time and reverse some bad decisions and expect your life to remain as it is just because you made a few smarter decisions.
What Would You Change?
Let’s suppose I have a magic wand and could make your life just the way you want it.
Would you want me to do it? What would you change?
Life partner? Job? Education? Friends? Relationships? Criminal Record? Income?
Not so easy when you must pin down which of life’s complications, you’re ready to alter. Especially since they are all so intertwined.
I met my wife at work. There are two conundrums right there. If I change one or the other — then what happens?
I retire wealthy from my great job with a shrew for a wife or retire broke with the love of my life?
In my own experience I would not change a thing. For whatever reason, despite the years of self-sabotage I inflicted on myself, my life has turned out pretty well.
Why Second Guess to Begin With?
In many cases we’re our own worst enemy. If we get extra money from somewhere, while we know we should save it, — we don’t.
The Federal Government was kind enough to send each of us a big check and what did we do with it?
Some people retired debt then Covid, inflation, and gas prices put them back in debt again.
We’ll blow money we didn’t work for on some material thing to make us feel better immediately.
We are addicted to immediate gratification. Who wants to wait to be rewarded?
Then we’ll spend the next few months kicking ourselves for our poor decision-making.
So, what does that kicking yourself accomplish? Nothing.
It’s nothing more than a learning experience.
You might make a wiser decision if you find yourself in the same or similar situation next time. But probably not. Old habits die hard.
Some Final Thoughts
There are several routes I can take to get to the radio station for my weekly show
. I don’t obsess about the shortest or quickest way to get there. The object is to get there.
The same thinking is true in life. You’re the sum of your decisions. Good decisions usually mean good outcomes. Bad decisions not so much.
But the two combined define who you are and the direction you’re going.
We seem to dwell too much in the past because hindsight is always 20–20. Our mistakes are glaringly evident.
Were we really that stupid?
It’s not thinking about where you were. It’s where you are now that matters.
If I meet someone on the street I usually ask, “How are you?” Not, “How were you?”
Are you second guessing where you’re going today?