"There is no such thing as coincidence in this world; there is inevitable" -Ichihara Yuuko (A witch).
Communication is an essential skill to thrive in this world of the living. It's human nature to communicate to understand each other. Every single species communicates with each other by different methods.
For an exciting fact, whales communicate with each other via high-frequency clicks and whistles, whereas Plants use their roots to communicate with their neighbor plants via frequency and sensation.
In the same way, humans communicate with each other verbally and visually. So, communication is an essential skill to have. Let's understand what we struggle with while holding a conversation or communicating with someone.
As an introverted soul, I can assure you that it really feels awkward when you want to hold a conversation. And be assured that you are not the only one.
(P.S.: - Here, I am going to share my personal experiences and observations. So, some things may or may not be accurate for you, and this is not everything.)
So, let's start with the root cause as to why communicating feels like a burden:
1. You are afraid that someone will judge you:
I think it's a pretty common thing that we have in our minds as we live in a judgmental society. We have been evaluated for pretty much everything from marks to skin types, your personal choices, even for crying.
But when you think of it, none of it matters. People will still judge you if you do some good things in your life. So if you live thinking about what other people will think, you may miss your life. So, calm down and don't think much. They may or may not judge you, but they won't hear you if you don't speak.
2. You are afraid of being wrong:
Maybe, you have been asked a question, and with all your heart, you raised your hand to answer that. But when you answered it, or someone else answered it, you realized you were wrong. You felt timid and embarrassed. So, in a conversation, you are scared to put forward your opinions.
You know where you went wrong when you thought that being wrong would be the end of you. If you don't make mistakes, you won't get to learn. And also, it takes a lot more courage to accept the mistake and learn new things. Being wrong is okay. But you need to know that it will also help you understand the right thing.
3. Lacking the pace:
It is something that I usually struggle with myself. While speaking, I sometimes talk so fast due to my anxious nature that the person in front of me feels disconnected. Some also talk at a slower pace. As said before, communication is a two-way thing. So when indulging in a conversation, we need to keep ourselves as calm as possible. And try to understand each other while indulging in a conversation.
The Best thing is to keep a regular pace and understand the context.
4. Negative Self-consciousness:
I always thought that I had a very high-pitched voice sometimes, or sometimes my voice turns into total mumbling when I talk with someone. So, some might misjudge me as I am yelling and being rude or uninterested.
So, I tried to avoid conversation for a pretty long time and often avoided talking when meeting for the first time. These insecurities can be different for different people.
But when my friends got to know that, they were pretty supportive and understood my problem. So, in the end, no one will judge you. And with time, you can also accept yourself.
If you can relate to any of the above, then here is the key as to how to deal with it:
1. Talk to yourself.
You can be in front of a mirror or record yourself while making eye contact with yourself.
2. Try to be attentive.
While talking with someone, try to be focused even if you can't make eye contact or feel nervous.
3. Accept and overcome.
As I just said above, if you feel any of the above causes, you must be nervous or feeling anxious. So, don't overwhelm yourself with that thought. Accept yourself and go with the flow. And if you want to change yourself to make a better version of yourself, then do it without hesitation.
4. Open to learning.
If you have a conflict of thoughts, then put it out. If you were wrong, you would be learning something new. But if you won't put it out, no one will know about what you had to say.
After opening up myself, I feel a bit good. Though I can't say that now I am extroverted or love to socialize every time, it sure helps me reach out to someone and ask for help without feeling guilty.
There is a single golden rule to this, which is never to force yourself. Suppose you feel like you can then go for it (all the best). But if you have even the slightest hesitation or consciousness, then wait for a while; it's okay. Do it when you think you are ready.
And if you have someone who is dealing with something like this, help them out by trying to understand them and giving them some space. We have our own pace so let it be.