Hurrah! Vacation season is here.
But wait, isn’t this the time when aliens attack us? I mean relatives.
Who likes relatives? I like them but only when they are leaving my house. While leaving they give me money saying “beta chocolate kha lena” and I seriously want to shut them up by “aunty chocolate pehnne ke din aa gaye abhi bhi ?50” but then I control my emotions thinking that it'll be enough for two cigarettes and baba elaichi!
Do you think the same way?
And are your relatives also this irritating that you feel like running away from your house when they come? Then congratulations, I can't do anything for you, other than completely understanding what you go through.
But yesterday evening I was fantasizing - what if someday we come across our irritating relatives when we are drunk. How honestly will we answer their irritating questions made me LMAO.
Let me share some with you guys!
1- I'm drunk and so I spill water on the table
Uncle: At your age I had two children and you can't handle a glass.
Me: Uncle! I would have had more than two, but I prefer using protection!
2- I'm drunk and relative calls me
Uncle: Beta! How was your PCS result? My sister's brother-in-law’s daughter's brother qualified for mains.
Me: Pehle tu ye bata tu hain koun b*dk!!
3- I'm drunk and come home and a relative of mine is sitting on sofa with my mom
Relative: Behenji, your son must learn something from my daughter.
Me: Seekha na tauji! She rolls the best joint, all the cousins have learned from her only.
4- Meeting a relative after 20 years in a party and I'm drunk
Relative: Areyyyyyyyy!!!! Itniiiiiiii si dekha thi itniiiiii badi hogai !
Me: Owwwwwwwwww!! Sorry aunty ap mujhe statue bolkar nahi gai thi na isliye.
5- Encountering a relative in a drunk situation whom I've never heard of
Relative: Aur beta how much do you earn?
Me: Yo yo honey Singh!! Bas jitna apki beti ek mahine me udati hai, ek hafte me meri gaadi utna tel khaati hai!
6- Me and my friend with lemon in hand
Aunty: Beta, why are you growing so fat?
Me: To accompany you aunty!
7- This one is my personal favorite
Relative: Aur beta, when are you getting married?
Talli me: Bas uncle Ranveer Deepika se breakup karne hi wala hai, uske next day hi shaadi kar lenge hum!
8- A better version
Relative: Aur beta, when are you getting married?
Talli me: Arey aunty! I got married last month, mummy ne bulaya nahi aapko?
And the fun goes on…
Agree or not relatives are the only organisms, after neighbours of course, on this planet who can't live happily if you are happy.
Note: Relatives doesn't include 'sage wale’, they are family dude!
Comment below and share with us your honest replies to irritating relatives if you were drunk.