College time is upon us, new admission, the commons, the classes; brings back memories, all of it. Although looking back, there are some things I did and later did differently.
First of all, everyone was encouraging new students to make new friends from Day 1. Now, I've never been good about making friends much less new ones. I was always a loner, I never did good going after people unless it was to confront them about something.
Oddly, I did this and had nothing to show for it. Everyone was busy even from day one. I got to a point where it was no longer worth my energy running after people and trying to chill with them.
Everyone had luck seeking out people that were in their unique cliques of sorts, but I wasn't on that. Even when I was told to seek out people, I did and still ended up having nothing to show for it.
Trying to find people that you have nothing in common with was stupid hard, no one wanted to reveal too much about themselves on the first day or even the first month.
Soon, the endless days of looking for people or seeking them out was replaced by feelings of despair and ritualistic avoidance strategies that you can see coming a mile away even if you were on the same spot on a sidewalk on the opposite side of the street.
Of course, trying to talk to girls of racist origins did not help at all either. They either didn't want to have anything to do with the black race or they were afraid of disgracing their families dating let alone talking to a black guy.
You know, I could roll with the fact that people have certain standards they live by, but when you're brought up to be racist as hell without even getting to know the person of another race, you sort of deserve a kick in the butt by said race to see how it feels to be shunned.
I was always raised to be color blind, but racism is still a very for real thing in this day and age as it was back then. What kills me is that it is people like this who are comfortable giving you a pen if you come to class without yours but won't so much as even give you the time of day if you're outside of class.
Having had enough and through letting everything and everyone around me try my patience, I got to a point where I turned my back on everyone and everything. I suddenly transformed myself from caring person to not giving two fucks person.
When someone needed something, I was like "go find someone else who'll give it to you", I stopped caring about being the center of attention and that's when people started seeking me out.
I turned down a lot of invitations to parties, because they bored me, hang sessions with girls, because I didn't want to rock with them. Nope, none of it. I was okay just hanging out by myself and I got a lot of attention too. Ironically.
It felt great having people kick my door in because they wanted me to spend time with them and I didn't want to, I got invited to a birthday party where some stupid idiot was turning 21 and was going to drink her bladder into oblivion. I was like, "no thanks".
Subsequent years after that, I dated women off campus and scored a lot of "attention". I only dated 3 girls on campus during the 6 years I was there. I remember one year, I went out with this girl and I had eyes on her friend who I should've really went out with. I was 27 at the time.
You know, looking back, I should've dated an older woman back then too. I think the headache I suffered when it came to dating in college would've been substantially lessened.
If someone was to ask me if I would do it all again, I'd be like "maybe".
Like my Post? Leave me a message and I'll get back to you immediately. Thank you and Happy writing.