When someone decides to get married, they definitely want the marriage to be done only once and can last a long time. Even though everyone knows that marriage is difficult and there will be many problems that will come to the test, as much as possible these problems are faced as a couple and further strengthen the relationship between husband and wife. For those of you who want a harmonious and lasting marriage life, there are a number of tips that you can follow!
1. Support each other
Life will have something called ups and downs. When we are at the top, we can have fun together with our partner. But what if life is on the decline? Even though we are not psychics, we must be able to do something to prevent and also overcome the difficult times that will come.
Mutual support with one another is needed in married life. No human being can live without the support of his partner. Always prepare an ear to hear your partner's stories and give suggestions that can help lighten the burden. If you can't provide a solution, at least listen to the complaints from your partner.
2. Set Boundaries
Even though they have lived life as husband and wife, it does not mean that everything must be done together. Still, you are different individuals, each of whom must have different preferences. How can you do what you like without being disturbed by other people?
This is the function of boundaries or limits. Husband and wife must make limits on what can be done and what cannot be done. This must be done so that in the future there will be no disputes. It's better to talk about it at the beginning than to have to wait for new fuss to talk about this. Make also what punishment should be given if it violates the boundaries that have been made together.
3. Live married life like friends
There are married couples who are married but closer to their friends. The meaning of being close to friends here is like if there is a problem, then the person to be informed first is a friend. Remember, you are married, it is not a good thing to constantly talk about problems with your friends, you should talk about them with your partner.
That's why when you get married, try to live it, not just husband or wife. But think of them as friends or best friends. So, you can be more open and relaxed when talking about something. If living life as a husband or wife feels heavy, it can be lightened in this way, living married life like friends.
4. Spend Time Together
When you are married, you will live a household life under one roof. Even though they live under one roof, there is still a feeling of awkwardness because of the changes in life that have occurred. At first it was just dating, now you really have to go through everything together. Sometimes there are moments when you still want to do something yourself.
It's okay for you to do something yourself, but keep in mind that the status has changed to married, you should look at the present and the future. As a couple there should be spending time together. It can be done by walking together, having dinner at a restaurant, and so on.
Another tips, you can watch the romance movies together with your spouse. This can add to the closeness and intimacy of the couple.
5. Forgive
Keep in mind that nothing is perfect in this world. Especially when talking about humans, humans can make mistakes. How to respond to this mistake that can be a key determinant in a relationship. Want it family relationships, friendships, and also when married.
Be angry, please, when your partner makes a mistake. But you also need to find out the reason why the error occurred. Consider whether it was a heavy or light mistake. If it's hard but you still want to forgive, make sure that there are serious consequences if this happens again. But if it's still light, it can be given a second chance to correct the mistake.
6. Respect Dissent
Don't think that after marriage that everything will go smoothly. Yes, it is possible that at the beginning of the month you will still be carried away by a happy mood, but after that, a number of problems will arise. The problem of differences of opinion will occur and will test how much you can accept those differences.
Even though they are already tied with a wedding rope, two individuals are still two. Each has a different mindset. Even if you face the same problem, it's not certain that a solution will be found because each has a different way of solving the problem. Respecting differences of opinion must be done. Don't force your own will because it can actually shorten the age of marriage.
7. Can Compromise
Getting married means that what is a partner's problem will be a joint problem. Because two people have different ways of thinking, different ways of working, when there is a problem or difference it can trigger conflict. How to handle this can determine whether or not the marriage relationship lasts.
As husband and wife should be able to compromise with each other. All kinds of differences must be discussed and discussed together. This can minimize the occurrence of conflict if previously compromised with one another. Even if your partner makes a mistake, don't be judged right away because you might actually hurt their feelings.
8. Be open with a partner
When married, openness is one of the important keys so that marriage can last a long time. There was once an expression that not everything has to be opened to a partner, in fact this can actually cause problems. Couples can even think that lies or distrust of partners.
If there are still doubts, distrust, which makes you have to lie, the question will be why you have to get married. Precisely as husband and wife should be able to open each other with one another. Don't cover anything and lie to your partner. If there is something that is propping up in your heart, talk about it alone.
9. Communication
Communication is also an important thing that can determine the long or short age of marriage. Not a few couples decide to separate because the communication that occurs is very minimal. Even if there is communication, the communication is neither smooth nor meaningful.
If you have problems in terms of communication, please talk to your partner. Look for a way out so that the communication carried out can be as expected. Don't stay silent and assume your partner can guess your thoughts. How can your partner know how you feel if you don't talk about it.
10. Stay Away From Parents
There are some couples who get married when they still don't have a place to live or a house. There are several solutions for this couple, such as contracting or living with parents. If you consider which problem is more economical, of course it will be more economical if you live in your parents' house. But this is not a wise thing.
If there is a problem in married life, what do you think your parents will do? Parental instincts will usually immediately help their children to get out of trouble. If the mistake was made by their child, there is a tendency for parents to be one-sided in making decisions. It's not that the problem is finished, it's actually getting worse because the son-in-law will feel that he is not considered or must be wrong.
Related: Should Parents Be Involved in Their Children’s Relationships?
That's why it's better after marriage, live in a separate house from parents. If there is a problem, then you are the one who has to solve it. Don't depend on your parents.